Silliness and Expectations

I’m building a reputation among independent producers that I can do good work for them. It is, of course, completely different from saying I’m the next John August. I’m too old for that in any case. Still, I am in a happy situation that many people now come to me to offer me work, or to ask my opinion. Many of these people are professionals, working hard for that dream of reaching Spielberg heights of success.

Some are just people with a dream who’ve never worked a day in their life.

They are legion: the vast swarms of people who’ve never written a proposal, never written a script that was remotely shoot-able, who’ve never directed or produced more than a few of their friends in a drunken party with their video cam. They swarm over everything remotely connected to Hollywood. Their refrain is pretty much the same:

“I have a fantastic idea that no one has ever done before. It’s going to be a fantastic hit and everyone (especially me!) will make lots of money. How do I get it made?”

Sorry. M. Night Shamaylan or Steven Spielberg can scribble something on a napkin and get a green light for it. That’s because they have a track record of taking ideas and molding them into a successful work. They have a track record of attracting the right talent and shooting something on (or near) budget. If you aren’t someone with “The Chops” of someone like that, you have to sell your idea.

That means, if you have a feature movie idea, you get it made into a script. If you have a TV idea, you make up a proposal.

How do you do that? Well you write it.

If you don’t know how to write it, take classes and learn. Then sit down and write.

“Wait! I just have great ideas! I don’t know how or want to write it.”

Then hire a writer to write it for you. That’s what serious producers in this business do. They buy the rights to a book, they get an idea, then they contact writers, choose one to write the script to their story. When they are happy with the script they then take it out and they start calling people.

“Sounds expensive,” you say.

There are lots of writers who will write it for free… hobbyists and students… mostly never have and never will sell anything to anybody because they don’t have the knowledge or talent to write something good enough. You can find someone to write it for free, or promise them thousands of dollars “when it sells.” Of course, you’ll probably get exactly the quality of script you paid for… one that is worth nothing.

Or you can go with a low-end talent – like me. I’ll write a script for a few thousand dollars. It will be a professional undertaking. It will have a chance because it is professionally done, by someone who knows what producers and directors and actors like to see in a script. But without a name director, producer or actor attached to it your idea will still have a long road to travel.

Or you can pay lots of money… $30,000 or $100,000 or much, much more… for a Goldman or August… or one of the other Hollywood elite to write it. Then you have something that everybody will sit up and take notice just because of the writer’s name. It still may not sell, but it will have every chance to.

I was contacted by a fledgling writer who was approached by someone who had an idea. In fact, this person, oddly enough, had a brilliant idea! They’ll be happy to pay our writer up to $100,000 if she writes the script… when it sells. Of course, she gets nothing now. She’ll work hard and give the guy what he needs to be in business, selling his idea, but she doesn’t see anything unless his idea IS brilliant and he markets it BRILLIANTLY and they beat the 1,000-1 odds and get it bought. And she won’t see anything for several years even if it is successful.

It’s a horrible assignment for any professional writer. No writer that expects to be paid for their work should ever do this. It’s an okay idea if you’ve never written a script on assignment and are just learning the craft. But if you are a professional writer, even a struggling one, it is stupid to even consider such a deal.

You must know that the person offering such a deal is usually one of the bottom feeders of the Entertainment Industry. Despite all their claims and bluster they rarely have any money and never have any contacts. They generally have already gotten a reputation… a reputation of hawking dead projects from talentless people.

In my mind, you are better off working on another spec script.